Why do some people hold back on giving compliments? Do we just not think about giving them or do we keep them to ourselves? Does it diminish us to build others up? Complimenting others makes me feel good.
Building people up is oh so important for kids, middle aged folks (like myself) and retirees alike. Heck, I’ve even complimented really smart trout I couldn’t hook on a dry fly and so I tipped my hat to the fish and moved onto the next pool. Sometimes, that’s fishing although the only compliment the fish knew about was they never felt my hook in their mouth.
This summer, I saw friends I’ve known for over 30 years and others I hadn’t seen in half a decade. Just being around lifelong friends and college buddies made me feel so grateful to be around “my people.” I might not get to see them all the time, but they’ll always be my people.
We built each other up during our time together and reminisced about the good ol’ days. I realized my own personal growth being around them and observed that through all of our own topsy turvy journeys, we’d become adults. That may seem obvious because we all have at least one gray hair by now, but when I think about these particular friends of old, I still see their adolescent reflections staring back at me. It was kind of surreal to have them all here in Colorado under my roof at supper time and as I watched them interact I realized that maybe I’ve made it too.
Someone told me you catch more flies with honey and so even when I’m frustrated with a member of the human race, I try to put myself in their shoes, which is something I’ve learned as a teacher too.
Just a few days ago I went fishing with a friend and we had just parked in an open lot. Outside of the truck, I was pointing at the water and explaining why it would be a good spot for throwing dry flies (his preference) and fishing subsurface. Not one minute later two cars pulled up, got out, and started gearing up, which is something I would not have done.
Either way, we were in the water first and I caught a beauty on my 2nd cast. They went just below us and started fishing, which I didn’t love either. After catching two more in quick succession I was already happy. I decided to give them a fly I had on that was working and told them a productive area to fish just downstream.
The grateful look and handshake I received overcame my initial frustration tenfold—you catch more flies with honey.
We ended up downriver at another spot (again, with no other cars) and I complimented myself for being patient and realizing maybe they just didn’t know what they were doing. I hope they caught a fish or two on that fly, but even if they didn’t, they’ll remember me for my kindness, not my disdain for their lack of etiquette.
Stay cool out there and don’t forget look up.
Mayfly Musings 
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